You have soiled yourself.

So - yes - I have soiled myself. Did a crazy delivery and you get the baby out and you get the sharps put safely away and you give a healthy baby to a relieved mom. And then, as I run to chart, a sister says to me 'ah, you have soiled yourself! You clean up!' - meaning I had a speck of blood on my knee.

Never, never soil yourself. Very frowned upon. As are panty lines! I thought the baby delivery was an accomplishment, but the true, TRUE accomplishment is a usual human messy delivery where you magically retain a spotless white uniform. So, today, I delivered a breech first twin and then Carole delivered the 2nd breech twin, and I delivered-ish the twin placentas. and was spotless!!! Yay. A good day. I did not 'fail.'